| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|09:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ingid michaelson | ] |
Thometimeth when i'm drunk, i lithp like when I wath a little girl. until april in third grade taught me how to talk. Thometimeth I drink to help me feel better when i'm feeling thad. other timeth I drink to help me feel thad when I know I should be but the antideprethantth keep me from feeling the way i probably should. i'm probably letting on too much. but i am drunk. and i don't care. i am thadd. sad. why do i do what i do? life ith way too confuthing. goood bight. o\r good night. |
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| Update |
[Jun. 30th, 2007|02:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
I did this back in March 2006. Let's see what applies to me now.
Bold What Applies To You.
Appearance
I am shorter than 5'4
*I have many scars.
I tan easily.
*I wish my hair was a different color.
I have a tattoo.
*I am self-conscious about my appearance.
*I've had braces.
*I wear glasses.
*I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
*I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
*I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
*I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
*My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.
School/Work
I'm in school formal education.
*I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
*I've missed a week or more of school.
*I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
*I've stolen something from my job. (I guess I stole a pen and a notepad...)
*I've been fired.
*I've skipped school.
Embarrassment
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry. yes, all of them.
I've peed from laughing.
*I've snorted while laughing.
*I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
*I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
*I've had my pants rip in public.
Health
I was born with a disease/impairment.
*I've gotten stitches. -- from getting a mole removed
*I've broken a bone. (have one broken now!!!)
I've had my tonsils removed.
*I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend. (Does the ER count?)
*I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
*I've had chicken pox.
Travelling
*I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
*I've been on a plane.
*I've been to Canada.
I've been to Mexico.
*I've been to Niagara Falls.
*I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
*I've been to Europe
I've been to Africa.
Experiences
*I've gotten lost in my city/town.
*I've seen a shooting star.
*I've wished on a shooting star.
*I've seen a meteor shower.
*I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
*I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
*I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
*I've been in a play/musical.
*I've met someone in person from the internet.
*I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
*I've ridden in a taxi.
*I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
*I've eaten Sushi.
I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
I'm single
*I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've had someone cheat on me.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
*I miss someone right now.
*I have a fear of commitment.
*I have a fear of abandonment.
I've cheated in a relationship.
I've gotten divorced.
*I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
*I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
*I've had a crush on a teacher.
*I am a cuddler.
I love to flirt.
*I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.
*I have kissed a stranger. -- been kissed by
Honesty/Crime
*I am a terrible liar.
*I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
*I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
*I have lied to my parents about where I am.
*I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
*I've run a red light. -- unintentionally
I've been suspended from school.
*I've witnessed a crime. (been the victim of two crimes, and I witnessed both of those, since I was there)
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.
Death and Suicide
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
*I've seen someone dying. (I worked in a nursing home, even found someone dead once and had to do CPR and then prepare his body for the funeral home)
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
*I've planned my own suicide.
*I've written a eulogy for myself. -- in my head
Materialism
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own a broken iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with enjoy anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
*I own something from Hot Topic. -- or at least i used to
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
*I own something from The Gap. -- doesn't fit anymore
*I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
Political/Social Attitudes
In general, I don't like people.
*I'm a feminist.
*I'm very outgoing. with my close friends and family (You'll never get me to shut up sometimes)
*I listen to political music (occasionally)
I'm Democratic.
I'm Republican.
*I'm liberal.
*I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
*I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush.
I'm religious.
*I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
Random
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
*I open up to others easily.
*I watch the news.
*I don't kill bugs.
*I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
*I curse regularly.
*I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
*I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
*I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
*I twirl my hair.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I've had Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart. .
I know how to shoot a gun.
*I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
*I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
*I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
*I am really ticklish.
*I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
*I play video games. (Bejeweled!!!)
*I'm good at remembering faces.
*I'm good at remembering names.
*I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
My answers are totally honest. |
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| Remember me? |
[Jun. 30th, 2007|01:37 pm] |
It's been a very, very long time since I last updated here. Quick review since last update: graduated, moved to Columbia, mO, went to work at a hospital OR, got fired after less than a month, was unemployed all summer, went to work at a nursing home, worked nights for 7 months, then evenings for 3 months and then went to work with a family planning organization, moved to Jefferson City, MO, started dating a guy (micheal) in INdependence, MO,broke my foot 3 weeks ago, and have been really sick lately. I am the HPV Vaccine Project Coordinator for my organization, coordinating two separate grants to provide HPV Vaccine to low-income females in Missouri. I love my job. I get to travel around the state, and I am learning a lot of about family planning.
I am happy for the most part. I have moments where I cry, but so does everyone.
I miss school -- a lot. When these grants are over, likely around February 2009, I will return to school. There are four schools that offer Masters' of Public Health in Reproductive Health: Columbia University in New York, Harvard, Johns Hopkins University, and University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. They are all really good schools with excellent public health programs, so choosing a school will be very difficult.
I like my apartment. I have a view of the woods. It's smaller than my apartment in Columbia, but is a lot cheaper and a lot closer to work. I took a huge pay cut for this job and since I broke my foot, I can't work at the nursing home (I was still doing an occasional shift on weekends for extra money), so I've really been struggling for money. That's one of the worst things about being a grown up.
The other thing that sucks is moving and not knowing anyone. I only know one person from college in this town, and we don't even see each other once a month. I have a few friends in Columbia, but I really feel ... stranded at times.
I've also been steadily gaining weight since November 2004. I'm going to do a test for a hormonal disorder called Cushing's Syndrome, but the doc doesn't think I have it. For those of you who haven't seen me in years, I'm a lot heavier than I was, and am just uncomfortable in my body. I joined the YMCA a few weeks ago and broke my foot that weekend. The podiatrist said I can't do any lower body exercise for six weeks (my appointment for follow up x-ray is July 23), and I injured my left arm by using crutches, so until it heals, I can't do any upper body exercises either.
I think I'm a lot calmer than I used to be, and I like that. I don't do much barking anymore. Wow, freshman year seems like a million years ago. It's already been six years since I started college. I've been through so much since then. Most of you followed the big stories on here, but there was a lot I never posted.
I struggled for so long, and it feels like things are finally falling into place. I hated nursing school and I really didn't like working in the nursing home, but now I finally have a job that makes me happy. I am dating someone whose company I really enjoy, and I'm in a place in my adult life that feels somewhat stable. I would love to re-connect with anyone still reading this. |
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| Done! |
[May. 11th, 2006|09:16 pm] |
I am a college graduate. I have completed my bachelor's degree. It took 13 semesters, and there were a few times I didn't think I was gonna pass one of my classes, but I did it. I am finished. I am now a grown up. In three weeks, I'll be training in my real adult job. Tonight was my last night hanging out with college friends. This is the last time I get to stay up late and live life the way I want to. Pretty soon, the man will own me. I'm scread. I thin I'm going to miss college. I've thought about this moment for years, and so much has happened since I started college. I've lost so many people, so many friends, people I loved. If I could relive college, I would change so much, but things are the way they are, and I'm going to celebrate. I made it through and I am graduing. I will be getting my nursing pin tomorrow night and almost all of my family will be present, and on Saturday I will have friends and family watch me walk across the stage as we recognize the earning of my BSN and my minor in political science.
Er sure is good right now!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|02:42 pm] |
Look at me updating!
I guess the Biggest Loser casting agency didn't want me. I had this hope for so long, this feeling that I would make it to the semi-finals, but I never got the call. It is very disappointing. I am gaining weight at a rapid and alarming rate. I'm scared.
I still have this feeling that something good is going to happen to me. Not just something good, but something big and great. I dont' like this feeling because deep down inside I know there is no truth to it. I think it's just a holdover from the hope from the Biggest Loser, but I feel like I'm about to be selected for something huge or about to meet someone who is goign to change my life. This just leads me to hurt even more.
I broke up with my ex-boyfriend over a year and a half ago and haven't dated anyone since. About once a month, I still have dreams that he and I are together. Sometimes they're nice dreams and sometimes they're not. It's not that I want to be back with him, but I think I would like to date someone. I am very lonely and I feel myself both pushing away my friends and being pushed away by them. Graduation is nearing and our lives are all about to change and I have this paralyzing, terrifying fear that I am going to be more alone than ever.
I've been on antidepressants for nearly a year and a half, and I do feel like they're working, but there is something inside that may never be cured -- the feeling of emptiness and a lack of hope. I no longer cry everyday and I don't think about suicide constantly, but there is still some sadness. I feel like I'm mourning something that was never there.
This is all probably just my change of life coming on that scares me. Thanks for listening. I always feel so much lighter and better just getting this off my chest. |
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| jobitty jobbity job |
[Mar. 19th, 2006|04:53 pm] |
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I got a job offer at Boone Hospital Center in Columbia, MO and I will be accepting it! I will be an Operating Room nurse. Woo hoo! Now I just need to fnd a place to live. Let's celebrate! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2006|10:19 am] |
Bold What Applies To You.
Appearance
I am shorter than 5'4
*I have many scars.
I tan easily.
*I wish my hair was a different color.
I have a tattoo.
*I am self-conscious about my appearance. I've had braces.
*I wear glasses.
*I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
*I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
*I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
*I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
*My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I've had children.
I've lost a child.
School/Work
*I'm in school formal education.
*I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
*I've missed a week or more of school.
*I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I've stolen something from my job.
I've been fired.
I've skipped school.
Embarrassment
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry. yes, all of them.
I've peed from laughing.
*I've snorted while laughing.
*I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
*I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I've had my pants rip in public.
Health
I was born with a disease/impairment.
*I've gotten stitches. -- from getting a mole removed
*I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed. -- not yet, but i'm hoping soon
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
*I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
*I've had chicken pox.
Travelling
*I've driven over 200 miles in one day. -- been in the car, but not actually driven that much myself
*I've been on a plane.
*I've been to Canada.
I've been to Mexico.
*I've been to Niagara Falls.
*I've been to Japan.
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
*I've been to Europe
I've been to Africa.
Experiences
*I've gotten lost in my city/town.
*I've seen a shooting star.
*I've wished on a shooting star.
*I've seen a meteor shower.
*I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
*I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
*I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
*I've been in a play/musical.
I've met someone in person from the internet.
*I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
*I've ridden in a taxi.
*I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
*I've eaten Sushi.
I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
*I'm single
I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've had someone cheat on me.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
*I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of commitment.
*I have a fear of abandonment.
I've cheated in a relationship.
I've gotten divorced.
*I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
*I've had a crush on a teacher.
*I am a cuddler.
I love to flirt.
*I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.
*I have kissed a stranger. -- been kissed by
Honesty/Crime
*I am a terrible liar.
*I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
*I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
*I've run a red light. -- unintentionally
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.
Death and Suicide
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
*I've planned my own suicide.
*I've written a eulogy for myself. -- in my head
Materialism
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own a broken iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with enjoy anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
*I own something from Hot Topic. -- or at least i used to
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
*I own something from The Gap. -- doesn't fit anymore
*I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
Political/Social Attitudes
In general, I don't like people.
*I'm a feminist.
*I'm very outgoing. with my close friends and family (You'll never get me to shut up sometimes)
I listen to political music
I'm Democratic.
I'm Republican.
*I'm liberal.
*I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush.
I'm religious.
*I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
Random
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
*I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
*I don't kill bugs.
*I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
*I curse regularly.
*I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
*I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
*I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
*I twirl my hair.
I have "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I've had Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart. .
I know how to shoot a gun.
*I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
*I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
*I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
*I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
*I am really ticklish.
*I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
*I'm good at remembering faces.
*I'm good at remembering names.
*I'm good at remembering dates.
*I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
*My answers are totally honest. |
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|
| Request for photos |
[Feb. 18th, 2006|05:10 pm] |
As many of you know, I auditioned for the reality television show the Biggest Loser on January 22. I was called back and interviewed on January 26. I then made a video and sent it in and was called last night. I made it to the next round, meaning that they'll be sending me a background check and a health form, which I'll have to fill out and send back to them. They also want me to send them some photos. If they still like me, I'll be a finalist and they'll send eout to Los Angeles to do some more on camera interviews.
I've had some computer trouble and lost a lost of my photos, so I'm asking for help from you guys! I need 1-2 recent face shots, showing my face close up and showing my personality and 1-2 older photos when I was thinner. If you have any photos that fit these descriptions, please email them to me.
And if you pray or medicate or whatever, please keep me in mind.:)
Thanks, guys! |
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| Do you know me? |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|07:39 pm] |
I got pierced again today. My tragus. I had been thinking about it for a while and I missed the tragus that rejected last year, so I went to a different studio today and I like it so far. 30 minutes into it.
Also, I got this from Amanda K. and I would like to see what you guys think. Go to the following link and pick six words that you think describe me. When youa re done, you will be able to see what I said about myself.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=A11isonAnn
Cool! Thanks! |
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| why today sucks |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|07:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
Yes, today is my birthday. The BIG 23! Here is why today sucks:
-I have a job interview, which is very nervewracking, and I don't have any clothes that fit, so I'm gonna look like shit.
-I have a three and a half hour drive after that.
-I have two meetings tonight, which means not going out with friends.
-I have to spend the night in the library finishing up homework because my incompletes have to be done by tomorrow and I'm not anywhere close to being done.
-The State of the Union's Lies is on today.
-Alito will be confirmed today for the Supreme Court.
-Coretta Scott King did not wake up this morning.
Maybe we should just pretend that my birthday is on Friday or Saturday? |
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